The Beginning of an Idea

Sabba(tech)alism- a sabbatical from technology. What an idea!

My idea for this project originated in 2019 when my local community experienced an internet outage in my area that was the result of a terrorist cyber-attack. I watched as everything shut down, 911 could not be reached, people could not contact loved ones, school phones and internet lines were shut down and for a brief moment- it felt terrifying- chaotic- jarring and absolutely surreal. Receipts could not be printed, both electronic and cash transactions could not be completed, emergency phone calls could not be made, medical information was inaccessible, and all things tied to the illustrious never-fail internet were dead. No wifi, no cable, no VoIP, no home security systems, no texting or calling- everything was dead in the water. All because of a cyber-terrorist who hacked into and disrupted our local technology power sources. It was weeks before it returned to normal. Internet customers fought for months to have their bills adjusted and our personal internet connections continued to feel the residue of the attack.  Is that really all it takes to disconnect us from each other and incapacitate our systems. Seriously? Just pull the wifi plug and we’re disconnected so brutally? Yes- thanks to the overuse and overreliance (and dare I say addiction?) on technology- that was all it took to bring us to our knees.

It was corrected within about a week with some slight bumps and hiccups. However, the mind-blowing aspect is that despite this event severely disrupting our lives- when I ask others about it- they don’t remember it. It’s a vague memory. I get ‘oh yeah- I forgot about that’. Because everyone went right back to the status quo as quickly as possible and life continued as if nothing ever happened. 

We, the average present-day society member, are almost entirely reliant upon technology that we a) don’t understand, b) could not replicate, and c) use with all the naivety and endearing ignorance of a child. It’s fun and easy and efficient- until it’s broken. Then it’s chaos and we’re pushed back to a pre-tech state of operation. Like a baby- we’re given our pacifier back and the world is suddenly happy again.

The stress caused by this outage was impressive and it caused me to question if we’d taken our reliance on tech too far. It wasn’t necessarily that people couldn’t scroll on social media- no, people were panicked because they couldn’t do their jobs without the internet. The workplace culture demands results- regardless of the obstacles. For instance: anyone who didn’t meet sales quotas for that day were penalized for it. No wonder there were so many people stressed out. Perhaps an inability to survive without tech was an indicator that we needed to change something. We don’t necessarily need to be able to build wagons and birth calves- but there might be some merit in being able to adapt and continue functioning when something does go wrong.

I tried to let it go, but that’s not my style. A few weeks was all it took for my brain to run with it.

The parameters of my socio+art project

The same question rolled around in my head: what would the world look like without these systems in place? I have the luxury of being a part of the elder Millennial generation- which means I  can remember what life was like before the internet, cell phones, and streaming entertainment. I remember (vaguely) what it was like to have to stretch the phone cord all the way to the bathroom just to get privacy from snooping ears for my phone call. I remember Blockbuster and picking out VHSs and DVDs. I remember what it was like to hang out with friends in their basement or bedroom- to go kick it for a whole day or weekend with my friends. We had these planned weekly meetings or events where we knew we’d see each other. So my perspective is one of both pre-tech and hyper-tech realities. I watched our world transition from the corded landline to the cordless to the bulky brick of a cell phone with an antenna to the flip phone to the mini itty bitty flip phone to the Blackberry to the iPhone to today’s virtual tech. That’s my generation- we experienced the technological takeover. So with that knowledge, I am able to see clearly how we literally can’t be more than 10 feet away from our devices without triggering anxiety and simultaneously remember how we used to have no device whatsoever. And what’s the biggest change I noticed? Our relationships.

So what would the world look like if another outage happened? What if the next outage was longer, more permanent? Forgive me for being so blunt- but it’s the end of 2020 and dystopian isn’t that far fetched. Unpacking this even further- how did we, as a society, become so dependent on technology? We fell for the convenience sales pitch and got addicted to the instant gratification aspect.

And my questions went from macro to micro: do I even have my friend’s telephone numbers? I can barely remember my own telephone number. Do my kids know what to do if they can’t reach me? How on Earth did we decide that one single, local broadband company was to have monopoly over a whole city? Good grief rural suburbs! Get it together! Also- how do I contact my friends without social media?

Wait. Do we even have a real friendship outside of social media?

That last question was the White Rabbit and I was Alice. Down the hole we fell. I wanted to examine relationships. I wanted to examine connections between people. What would happen if I just… continued without wifi? What if I chose to connect with people in real life? At this point in my writing I’m sure I’ve inspired half of you and given the other half severe anxiety. My apologies.

I am an artist and my brain ventures into the hard places of our existence, unapologetically and fearlessly.

Thus, Sabba(tech)alism was born. Side note: I thought that putting ‘tech’ in parentheses was so clever and that was one of the biggest ‘proud’ moments in this project because I’m a nerd like that.

Anyhow, I decided that I would conduct a socio-art project examining relationships and technology. My parameters were set: I would remove technology as the middleman and connect directly. In my defense- I had no idea the Pandora’s Box I’d just opened. 

The Project In Motion

When presenting my project or simply informing others that I wasn’t available through technology- I had to be careful how I worded it. I quickly discovered that my project was triggering for some. I had to only present my invitation to connect directly and my decline to connect through tech because some would interpret my project as judgement or condemnation of their own personal technology usage. So as I moved through the project- I focused on ‘connect with me directly’ and softened my explanation of the project’s background.

I told my friends (via social media, of course) that I was starting a project called Sabba(tech)alism and that I would be offline for three months- but available to them directly. To me, it felt like the equivalent of saying ‘no fast food’- but I’ll make you a home cooked, seated five-course dinner. I offered up coffee dates, play dates, dinners, brunches, telephone calls, handwritten letters, and any other way they wanted to interact directly with me.

The next group of people  I informed were the people who’d interact with my children. Schools, teachers, instructors, camp leaders, administrators, coaches, etc. This was a very important step in the project.

Second to last  on my list was all my career and professional contacts. I informed all of my professional contacts that I was offline and available directly through phone calls, snail mail, and face-to-face meetings. 

Lastly: strangers. After announcing Sabba(tech)alism and posting an ‘out of office’ on my website and social media- I took it a step further and invited the general public to exchange letters, cards, etc. through a P.O. Box. 

There was physical preparation involved as well- I had to physically unplug myself from technology and reinstate alternate methods of communication

1. I utilized a P.O. Box.

2. I disabled messaging on my phone.

3. I set up an auto-away message for my email. Having never, ever used it- that was one of many signs that I needed to step away from the screen and take a vacation. At least from tech.

4. I left one last post on all my social media explaining Sabba(tech)alism.

5. I posted that same social media message on my website. 

6. I located all my newspaper stands and set up several delivery subscriptions to come directly to my house in the mornings. I’d drink my coffee and read the newspaper. Like an adult.

7. I paused my cell phone and set up a landline phone- and let me tell you: this was a pain in the ass. Every single phone provider was like ‘sure, no problem- let’s get you set up with VOIP’ followed by ‘we don’t do old fashioned landlines’ and I stumbled upon this little tidbit: internet companies like Verizon and AT&T are foaming at the mouth to try and get landlines banned and permanently removed from our society. Like- they want to take down telephone poles and everything. Creepy. And sus.

8. I asked friends to send me their physical address so I could start the conversation relay- hello address book. I haven’t seen those since the late 90’s.

9. I ordered the cutest stationary, boxes for care packages, and grabbed fun surprises to mail.

The Connections, Engagement, and Results of Sabba(tech)alism

I was absolutely not prepared for the negative responses. I was living in a location adjacent to the Amish and Mennonite communities for crying out loud- people opting out of technology wasn’t a new concept. But I digress. I experienced an immediate negative response to my project. 

1. Silence. Many had zero interest in putting any effort into connecting past hitting a ‘like’ button. I was met with radio silence from many people. I kept reminding myself that I was doing something a bit radical and I was going against societal norms- hesitation and silence were to be expected.

2. Three separate people who had been cyber-stalking me (unbeknownst to me at the time) suddenly had no way to spy on me. Good, right? No. This caused them to increase their efforts and attempt to gain information through alternative methods. More direct methods. 

3. Forcing technology. I received email after email from a few people. In turn- they received away-message after away-message and that seemed to aggravate the situation. There were statements to the effect of ‘I don’t have to play this stupid game’ and ‘you can’t control me’. It was quite shocking to see how some people used technology as a way to control the connection and how we’re conditioned to panic if we respond in any less than an hour.

4. There was two face-to-face outburst in which the other person became very upset that they were not able to contact me immediately. It was not an emergency- they just didn’t like being kept waiting. They were asking for a favour and I would have said ‘no’ anyways. The second incident was a person who’d become very offended at my project’s stance on technology- it had caused them to become defensive. I only mention this incident because it was something akin to an active drug addict defending their usage. They was severely triggered and thought the project was attacking them personally. They made statements like ‘I know being on my phone 24/7 is bad- but I can’t stop’ and ‘it causes too much anxiety to be away from my phone for more than 10 minutes’. I get that. Social media is literally engineered to trigger and manipulate things like serotonin and dopamine in our bodies. It’s no surprise that people get withdrawal symptoms or anxious when that structure is removed. The only thing you can do at that point is be there to listen, help them by referring them to a professional, and assure them that they aren’t personally being attacked. My project is very much pro-human and how we can utilize (or minimize) our resources to communicate in fulfilling and beneficial ways.

5. I had one person become upset that I was not participating in an app that the group was using and this person created an account for me, without my knowledge, and was sending messages to me via this unknown account. They then used the fraudulent app account and their messaging as a way to say that they’d contacted me and I simply hadn’t responded. Mind: blown.

The withdrawal from tech was real. I mindlessly reached for my devices out of habit and without thinking. It caused this feeling of uneasiness- like I was missing something. It was a huge shift in my daily patterns of behavior. I realized just how disconnected we were without that middle man we call ‘social media’. It was quiet, too quiet. I would sit on the train or in a room full of people and watch everyone go heads down, phones out like zombies. Except that one extrovert who’s foaming at the mouth to chit chat with literally anyone. Introverts- you know who I’m talking about- the ones who have that gleam in their eyes and you avoid eye contact at all costs because that’s all the invitation they need to begin an hour long, draining conversation about every detail of their lives, their neighbours lives, their neighbour’s dogs’ lives, and so on. I retreated to my studio, using my mark making as a way to find my peace and process all this change.

All this also shifted my mindset on what ‘work’ or ‘labour’ really is. Is our labour only something we get paid for? Is it only manual labour that counts? How much mindless work do we do sitting behind screen? How much of that work actually matters? My definition of labour quickly became the actions that brings me closer to my objectives and end goals. Clean bathroom? Birthing a child? Tending a garden? Selling a piece of art? All labour in my book.

By the way: it wasn’t all angry responses and tantrums over delayed responses, however. And I did adjust to the absence of my devices. Thank goodness or I would have lost all hope in humanity. No- there were others who were very much on-board with my idea and jumped at the chance to connect with me on a deeper and more authentic level.

1. The best responses were the instant ‘I love this idea’ messages!

2. I was floored at how many physical addresses I was sent and the desire to connect on a deeper, real level.

3. I continued to send letters, mail, care packages and that in itself was fulfilling to me.

4. I received letters and was SO happy that they’d taken the time, effort, and energy to write to me!

5. I deepen my relationship with those who chose to communicate directly.

6. I received feedback that opening the mail and seeing a hand-written letter from me ‘made my whole day!’ Some people even put my cards up on their fridge or tucked it into their organizers as a happy reminder of our friendship. I think most of us can remember those little boxes we had as kids full of our most prized and beloved possessions- mine always had hand-written notes from my grandmothers. Something about each of their handwriting (especially the way they wrote my name) brought me closer to them somehow. I’m going to tell you a quick TRUE story that happened to me while I was volunteering at a nursing home during college. SO I was assigned to simply sit with an elderly woman who was lonely. She began telling me about her husband, who’d passed just a few weeks prior. They’d been married almost their whole lives. HEr face lit up when she talked about him- but she also would start to cry when she described how in love they were. I asked her how they met and she said ( this is one of those moments I’ll never forget because of how real and impactful it was) so she said that they were both young and in college. She was working as a librarian clerk and he would come in the library and she’d catch him watching her. Then he approached the counter and slid her a note and said ‘this is for you private’ and she said it was a note asking her to go steady. I awed and told her how sweet that was- and she replied ‘do you want to see it? See what? The note. And she pulled her Bible off the nightstand and slipped out the original note of him asking her out on their first date. Guys, I was bawling. To keep that handwritten note so safe and protected and so close to her person ALL these years. Ugh! I was no good. I cry every time I retell this story. Her story helps me remember that real love exists and that if you find it- keep it safe, protected, and close.

7. Personally, I was thrilled that I had the opportunity to deepen friendships and hopeful that we, as humans, can still connect in real and meaningful ways. It filled me with so much happiness and peace when I saw how impactful my letters and care packages and friendships were to my friends. This may be rooted in a bit of ego- that I matter and my connections with others matter- but I realized (and please remember that I’m an artist, isolated, introverted, hermit, hide in my cave kind of person)- but I realized that that’s humanity. Those connections are what life’s all about. If we think back- our biggest moments of happiness and joy or moments that really shook us to the core are moments when we connected in real ways with each other. It’s those moments you remember with perfect clarity. One freak wifi outage had collided me with a project that helped me remember what really matters in life.

Hard lessons about negatives connections

• My big epiphanies weren’t just pleasant, happy ones. Some of them were hard lessons that helped me grow. I was cultivating a garden- sowing seeds of friendship, watering them with time and energy, protecting my social garden and trying to give it all the best things to help us all grow and thrive. I was also weeding my garden and ridding it of invasive pests and plants- things that had no place in my garden. These harmful things can and will exist- just not in my garden.

• One big concept that came to light was how many of us were interacting and communicating without trusting the other person. I chose to communicate directly with the naïve assumption that our words would be honoured and our connection respected. What I discovered was that the majority of us use technology to ‘keep receipts’, to distance ourselves from the other person, and to keep transparency in relationships where no trust exists. 

• The next realization was that I was one of those people. I was in communication with people I didn’t trust or respect. When forced to communicate directly with those people- the uneasiness was undeniable. Trust your gut, people. You have intuition for a reason- listen to it. I had been using technology to buffer our communication and record-keep conversations for future evidence. 

• So why? Why did we entertain these relationships that were clearly unhealthy and unpleasant? Why are we communicating with people we think will attempt to jilt us months down the road? Why were we settling for these situations and connections? Didn’t we deserve more? Didn’t we deserve healthy relationships? If you’re in any type of relationship (professional, friend, family, romantic, etc.) and you feel the need to save emails, messages, and other written evidence because you know you’ll need them in the future: something is wrong and you need to consider exiting that relationship.

• I realized through the cyber-stalking incidents that the majority of us were underestimating technology and its dangers. For those of us with public careers- we are prime targets for creeps behind screens scrolling late at night with malicious intents. And we never think it’s going to be us- until it is. The response when we flag this behavior is ‘set yourself to private’- as though cyberstalking is permissible or unavoidable. It’s a ‘don’t have money if you don’t want to get robbed’ kind of mentality. We don’t live in a world where we have the luxury of information privacy! One simple app download sells all our data to the rest of the world! I had friends confiding that their private photos had been shared without consent by both friends and developers! One of them even got a settlement for the leaked photos. Richard Prince, an ‘artist’, gained his reputation by stealing stranger’s social media photos and ‘adding’ to them- then selling them for tens of thousands of dollars. The internet basically owns anything you upload to it- once it’s there: it’s theirs.

• One major conversation I began having over these in-person coffee dates and brunches was communication within the education system. One beloved teacher friend of mine stated “I get new parents every year and it’s easier to stay organized and avoid false accusations by keeping everything in emails”. Oh wow- look at me stumbling into the education sector’s drama. False accusations? Do tell! And then I remembered the mother of a special needs child in West Virginia who hid a secret audio-recorder in her child’s hair and discovered the teacher’s abusing the children by calling them pygmies, refusing bathroom breaks and accusing the child of ‘wanting to jack off’, and threatening to ‘punch (them) in the face’ and pull their hair. These incidents lead parents (especially of special needs children) to wonder: is that going on in my child’s school? Can I really trust others to watch my helpless infant or innocent child? What is going on behind the closed doors or these schools and daycares? Should I invest in nanny cams? But it goes the other way, too. Another education sector friend of mine explained that she was accused of physically assaulting a child and the school cameras were the only evidence that saved her from losing her license and entire career. The general consensus of educators seemed to be one of distrust towards parents- until a friendship between teacher and parent had been formed. And the parents were dissected into groups of parents who 1) didn’t care/zero school engagement, 2) were defensive/on-guard towards the school, and 3) worked hard to create healthy relationships with the school so that trust was present to some degree.

• The conversations continued around the concept of people- specifically toxic relatives and the cohesive family unit. One friend stated ‘you can’t cut the toxic person out because they’re toxic enough to poison everyone against you in their revenge fantasy to take you down for rejecting them!’ It was a pattern I saw in almost every family discussion- the toxic relatives who forced others into ‘dealing with them’ or else face their wrath. And these incidents aren’t rare at all. Almost every one I had this specific conversation with confirmed having at least one ‘toxic’ relative in their family and that this one person was able to sabotage, manipulate, or cause trouble in other relationships. I’ll be completely honest with you and admit that I was starting to lose hope in human beings. Call me naïve- but when and where did behaving like this become acceptable?

• It became clear that connecting inauthentically was draining people of their energy. Whether it was dealing with customers at work, a mean coworker or boss, toxic relatives, teachers vs. parents, or even our own hand-picked friends: these relationships were draining us. Relationships became obligations somewhere along the line and the majority of our relationships weren’t bringing us anything good. But we, individually, also weren’t giving any good. Anything past a like or a quick comment was overwhelming. Grabbing a coffee together? Ha! Oh hun- that’s something we say but never do. Or worse- our social circles were just audiences that we groomed to sell our fitness teas or affiliate links to. Then we sink into that slimy swamp of sociopathic behavior and people are just potential conversions to us. Gross. No, no, no! Don’t do this!

Deepening healthy bonds of existing and future relationships

Now I have a handful of what I consider real, deep friendships and when I look at these friendships I notice several things: the first is that they took time invested to create, then it was that at some point these friendships were put to the test through disagreements or some sort of conflict: and they’d survived and thrived, next it was that I connected directly with these people- not just through social media, then that neither of us were trying to get something from the other, next was that we had that fire for each other- the fire that ignites and will go to war when we see them being hurt or mistreated, and lastly is that we’d seen each other in all stages: celebrations, burnt out, mad, grieving, silly- and we’d accepted them for exactly who they were.

Ending Sabba(tech)alism and the Conclusion

Three months after I began this project- it was time to go back to normal. Which, of course, I had no intention of doing.

Number 1- i got SO much accomplished without the distraction of technology. Stupidly scrolling through Kardashian drama and traumatizing National Enquirer headlines and things that simply didn’t matter and didn’t deserve my energy. I became hyper-focused on what was important to me, what I hoped to accomplish, and how I wanted to spend my time and energy.

Number 2- my relationships with people were so much clearer. This person had no interest in having a close personal relationship and this one did. This person is willing to spend time and energy meeting up for coffee and this one isn’t. This one is the real deal and this one isn’t. The lines between real friends and acquaintances and professional networks and people I should flat out cut off became clear. And each type of relationship came with their own expectations- I was no longer chasing after the last group and too drained for the first group.

Number 3- the nostalgia of the landline and handwritten letters was deeply appealing to my creative side. Forget texting me ‘wat up’- potential suitors are now required to hand write me a letter and send a small token of their affections. And connecting with beloved friends through handwritten letters and flowers and such transported my soul back to Victorian days, Anne of Green Gable days- simpler times when friendships were sacred. You’re going to pry those new habits out of my cold dead hands before I give them up.

Number 4- I respected myself and my time enough to cut off relationships that were full of bad things like distrust, disrespect, jealousy, gossip, and other unhealthy aspects. I’m not changing those choices or going back to those relationships. I used to be the type of person who wanted everyone to like me, to have their approval, i was a people-pleaser, it hurt my feelings when i’d meet someone and they’d be cool towards me out of jealousy- id make myself smaller and less attractive or interesting to gain their approval. I chased after people who, upon reflection, had no business even looking in my direction. No more chasing after people who gossiped about me behind my back or pushed me to change aspects of myself to suit them better. In a world full of narcissistic, sociopathic, faux friendships and digital proxies- we have to guard ourselves against inauthenticity. Sabba(tech)alism taught me how wonderful I was as a friend and how valuable my friendship was to others. As you’re reading this, I hope you realize that you are that person as well. You are worthy of friends that are real and authentic. You’re worthy of someone spending time and energy on you. You’re capable of being that friend, as well.

I hope, even if you weren’t an original participant in Sabba(tech)alism- that simply reading about it has helped you somehow, inspired you, or encouraged you to reach out, in real life, to a friend to deepen your connection.

COVID NOTE:

COVID Note: The idea began in spring of 2019, the project took place in late 2019, and the world went to hell in a handbasket in 2020. In 2020, we went full-tech. Education, workplaces, healthcare, grocery shopping, gyms, mental health providers, shopping, entertainment- everything went full tech. The irony does not miss me that I did a project about connecting in real life and without tech and the entire world stops connecting in real life and goes full tech. One day, we’ll sit at each other's tables again. One day, we’ll shake hands and give hugs and come closer than 6 feet from each other without panicking. One day. But until that day- keep writing letters, sending care packages, talking voice-to-voice over the phone, remembering each other’s birthdays and sending cards and gifts- keep connecting as directly as you safely can with each other. Despite the perfectly manicured IG photos of our perfectly filtered sourdough breads and DIY projects- how many of your friends felt suicidal, are deeply depressed? That’s not shit they’re going to post online- that stuff you’ll only get out of a real conversation. So check in with each other, support each other, ask for support, make your sourdough bread and do your TikTok dances- but don’t forget to connect in the ways that matter once the wifi is unplugged. Enjoy the tech, but remember that reality is always far better and more honest than a digital proxy.